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Published by jack elliot


There is nothing more soul destroying that someone who carries out one sided conversations.

If they are a colleague, there are techniques you can use to make them share air space,or at least pretend to listen, because the relative formality of the workplace

allows them to be implemented,

but it is much harder if they are family members or friends.

These people are usually so trapped in their own heads that even if you decide to let them monologue while you simply nod and emm sympathetically, they will then accuse you of not listening to them!

I have two thoughts on this: some of it is sheer social ignorance, ie we have lost the old code of etiquette where people were brought up not to hog the air waves.

It was something your parents instilled in you: conversational turn-taking, asking follow-up questions, not referring everything back to oneself or one's preoccupations.

And sometimes it is a kind of mental illness: the person does not realise how they are damaging their relationships because they are so self-absorbed.

In the former case, you can to an extent role model good listening skills yourself, and the penny may drop. It's much harder in the latter, as the fundamental problem goes deeper than socialisation.

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