Edinburgh Festival Jokes

Here are the best Jokes in The Festival this Year

“Working at the jobcentre has to be a tense job,”

“Knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.”

“I had a job drilling holes for water – it was well boring”

  “I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism.

If I don’t pay it back, I’m going to get repossessed.”

 In my last relationship I hated being treated like a piece of meat.

She was a vegan and refused to touch me. 

 What do colour-blind people do when they are told to eat their greens? 

 I’ve got a new job collecting all the jumpers left in the park at the weekends, but it’s not easy.

They keep moving the goalposts. 

 Trump said he’d build a wall but he hasn’t even picked up a brick.

He’s just another middle-aged man failing on a DIY project. 

 I lost a friend after we had an argument about the Tardis.

I thought it was a little thing, but it seemed much bigger once we got into it. 

Why are they calling it Brexit and not The Great British Break Off? 

 I think love is like central heating.

You turn it on before guests arrive and pretend it’s like this all the time.