August 20 2018
Here are the best Jokes in The Festival this Year
“Working at the jobcentre has to be a tense job,”
“Knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.”
“I had a job drilling holes for water – it was well boring”
“I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism.
If I don’t pay it back, I’m going to get repossessed.”
In my last relationship I hated being treated like a piece of meat.
She was a vegan and refused to touch me.
What do colour-blind people do when they are told to eat their greens?
I’ve got a new job collecting all the jumpers left in the park at the weekends, but it’s not easy.
They keep moving the goalposts.
Trump said he’d build a wall but he hasn’t even picked up a brick.
He’s just another middle-aged man failing on a DIY project.
I lost a friend after we had an argument about the Tardis.
I thought it was a little thing, but it seemed much bigger once we got into it.
Why are they calling it Brexit and not The Great British Break Off?
I think love is like central heating.
You turn it on before guests arrive and pretend it’s like this all the time.